The Secret to Happiness

There is a common theme to many of the problems that our society faces; everything from fear of commitment to the divorce rate including cheating, the spread of diseases, and single parent households. Even large scale problems such as war and global warming can be attributed to this theme. The common theme is self-gratification. If people stop focusing so much on self and 'what makes me happy', the world would be much better place.

John 14:6- Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. 

I think this message has a deeper meaning than the obvious.  I think that Jesus' example to the world was that of self-sacrifice. I think he was trying to teach the world that the way to salvation was not necessarily about praising him but more so from following his example of letting self die for the greater good of mankind.  When you look at the world today, we have more material goods and wealth than ever before, yet the world in is complete chaos.  Marriages are failing; the children are killing each other; and the economy is dying. I think that the human race took a wrong turn when we started thinking that 'life is short so we need to make ourselves happy first and foremost'.

Helen Keller said it best when she said, "True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose". Buddhist scholar Shantideva phrased it this way: "All happiness comes from the desire for others to be happy. All misery comes from the desire for oneself to be happy". The bottom line is that if you want to fix the problems that society faces and at the same time make yourself a little happier; start by thinking of someone other than yourself for a change.

Collectively Speaking

The world does not belong to you

It does not belong to me

It belongs to we, collectively

If we continue to abuse and misuse

The world will no longer be

And for you and me that means

Our existence will cease

So try to find peace within

And share it with a friend

Only then will the healing begin

We all have wounds that won’t heal

And emotion we’re afraid to reveal

Sometimes it’s easier to lash out than be real

But here’s the deal…

We are all part of a bigger collective

When we disrespect others

Its self that ends up disrespected.

One rejected soul

Goes on to make others feel rejected.

The rejected and dejected

go out and cause physical pain

Through rape, murder, drugs and gangs

It’s an insane attempt to regain

What they feel they’ve lost

and for society it has a high cost

Because when I can’t trust you

and you can’t trust me,

we destroy the sense of community

and we destroy ourselves collectively.

The world won’t survive if

we just focus on self

So each of us has to care about someone else

Negativity doesn’t just come from thugs on the street

It comes from people we’re close to and the new people we meet

Ministers beware of the topics you preach;

Hell and damnation

can spark discrimination.

Educators be careful of the words that you speak.

Don’t let rudeness and ignorance be the subjects you teach.

I will build you and if you will build me

We can increase the positivity and we will not only survive

But we will thrive;

Collectively

© 2011

Relationship vs. Self

I sometimes wonder if relationships and being true to self are polar opposites.  It seems like the key to successful relationships is setting self aside, compromise and working together.  The bible even advises women to submit to their husbands.  So what is a girl to do if she wants companionship but she also wants to explore the world and pursue her dreams?  The easy answer is to find someone who shares similar goals and dreams; but are any two people ever really on the same page? Everyone knows opposites attract. It always seems that one will want 'this' and the other will want 'that'. Even if two people start off on the same path, can they continue on the same road throughout the journey of life?  I mean really.  Doesn't life take us each on a different path? When I consider truly successful women, it seems that many of them are single and/or unmarried. Why is that? I am a married woman who is still trying to pursue a dream and a passion. I love my man and I love my art. My husband is unbelievably supportive. I mean truly, more than most men would be. Nevertheless, I find it hard to balance my commitment to my relationship and my commitment to myself.  I don't know what the answer is but I can tell you from personal experience that in my relationship when we stay prayerful and we go to church regularly, our relationship works much more smoothly than when we skip church and do our own things.  I really can't explain it.  I mean we are the same two people, doing the same things but when we don't go to church, we are just on disaccord. We argue more and we seem to think in terms of lack instead of blessings.  Maybe the answer to finding balance between relationships and self is not focusing on the relationship or on self; but rather on God. At least that way, you'll discover your true destiny. Just a thought...

Life's Destiny
"Stop selling yourself to the highest bidder"
I heard the message loud and clear

"Figure out your path in life;
Stop operating out of fear"

Though I feel called to the arts
I am not sure how to get there from here

The bills are still due
tuition must be paid

How am I supposed to
step out on faith?

My man still wants to eat and get laid
And there is never enough
time in the day

My child needs attention so
she won't go astray

Where do I start?
How do I begin?
Does the path to life's destiny
start within?

Please order my steps
In accordance with your will
and let my life's destiny
be fulfilled.

© 2010

Discovering Self

I, like too many other women, have spent so much time worrying about what other people think of me.  I have been afraid to say what I think and express what I feel for fear that it would not be accepted or that I might offend someone.  Everyone wants to be liked but does it really matter?  If everyone likes you but you are not true to yourself, what does it really mean? I have decided to disover me... what I like; what I am about and what I stand for so that when I go out into the world, I can confidently represent me.  Look out world!

Who Am I

Who am I and where do I belong
Seems like I've been trying to answer
this question for so long

A lifetime ago, I was enrolled in a school of cosmetology
because I thought a hair stylist
was what I wanted to be

Then I tried college because it was expected
but it did not take long for me to feel
out of place and rejected

I almost quit when I
became a young parent
but when I thought of the future,
I decided against it

I graduated and began my career in social services
because I figured helping others would give my life worth

Years later I found myself burned out and frustrated
so I figured life and love were both overrated

I willed myself to start a new relationship
despite the bitterness that my heart was equipped with

To my surprise, I found love again
A minor miracle 'cause I thought I'd never
love another man

With work, parenting, and marriage
I got more stressed
and reached an all time high
of size 18 dress

Who am I and where do I belong?
Seems like I've been trying to answer this question for so long

My favorite author wrote:
'If you don't like the path you're on, make a new one'
so with that my pursuit of poetry begun

Now I am married, a parent, a poet
with two degrees and I still don't know
who I am supposed to be
(c) 2010